Parenthood for Ronald Weasley
by Lily106
Summary: Ron and Hermione have twins. See how nuts Ron can go. HrR GH
1. Muggle Shows

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.K's characters. I only own baby James, Emma, and Bridget. Also Hermione's mum is mum is not mine, but gave her the name Caroline. I am not sure if that is her true name.  
  
A/N: This is my first fic and I hope you like it! Moony391 is my beta. Look under her name for more good HP and charmed fics.  
  
Ron paced Mongos waiting room. Hermione, his wife, had just been flooed there and was going into labor. He, who had only just found out, was going nuts inside. 'What if something goes wrong, what if she bleeds to death!' he thought to him self, 'I am never watching those hospital muggle shows again!' he vowed.   
  
Just then his sister Ginny and best friend Harry came in holding their only, and newly born two months ago, child. It was a boy and was Harry's father's namesake. Ginny handed their son to Harry and walked over to her brother. "How ya doing?" she asked her brother.  
  
"Oh, fine just fine Gin I am only going nuts!!!!!!!!!!!" Ron screamed while pulling on his hair.   
  
"Shhh!" the secretary turned and said to Ron for what seemed like the millionth time.  
  
"When I crack, she is the first to die!"   
  
Harry walked over and patted Ron on the back. "Don't worry Ron. The worst they could do is drop the kids," he said jokingly. Ron didn't seem to find it funny because he took James out of Harry's arms and smacked Harry in the head. James giggled his cute little baby laugh. Ginny rolled he eyes.  
  
"You two act like you are two! Harry leave Ron alone, he never picked on you when you were going nuts," Ginny said to the two men in front of her.  
  
Ron stuck his tongue out at Harry as he frowned in defeat. Ginny rolled her eyes again and took the baby from Ron. "Come on sweetie. Lets get away from those crazy people," she cooed to him. They glared.  
  
The secretary got up from her seat and walked over to Ron. "Yeah, I know, 'shhh,'" he said mockingly.  
  
"No, Mr. Weasley," she said angrily, "You may go in now."  
  
"Oh," he said slightly embarrassed.   
  
Ron walked through the wooden doors and down the corridor to room 13B. He looked in the glass window to make sure he had the right room. There was Hermione. Her bushy hair had lost some of its wildness since they left school. Her eyes were still they same chocolaty brown and her bookwormishness still stood strong. And that smile that still made him melt never seemed to fade.  
  
In Hermione's arms lay two squirming purple blankets. 'Purple? Purple doesn't help. Are they boys or girls?!?!' He took a deep breath, pushed open the doors to be attacked by his mother.   
  
"Oh Ronnie! They're so beautiful!" cried Mrs. Weasley. She hugged him so tight that he feared that his children would grow up fatherless.   
  
When Ron finally escaped the clutches of his mother, he walked over to Hermione. She smiled at him. "Ron," She said, "There is something I need to tell you."  
  
'They dropped them! They're dead! Oh God! Oh God! OH GOD!' Ron's thoughts were frantic as he tried to keep calm for his wife.   
  
"You see Ron," Hermione began.  
  
'Here it comes,' Ron thought flinching.   
  
"One of the babies doesn't have a nose," Hermione said sadly.   
  
"WHAT!?!" Ron exclaimed. He rushed over to the babies in Hermione's arms and moved the blankets so he could see they're faces. Both of them had very small, cute little noses. He glared at Hermione. She shrugged.  
  
"Sorry, I didn't think you'd believe me," Hermione said with a laugh.   
  
"Oh, everybody's a comedian," Ron growled.   
  
"But seriously Ron we've named the kids," Hermione said to Ron.  
  
"Okay, what are they?"  
  
"Lavender and Pavarti," Hermione said casually.   
  
"You've named our kids after the Trelawney twins!" Ron exploded.  
  
"Ron I was joking," Hermione said, "Why would I name them that?"  
  
"I don't know. But I do know that if I hear one more joke today I will explode!" Ron screamed.  
  
"Why did the chicken cross the road?" Harry said, coming up behind Ron. Again Ron hit him.  
  
"Ron! Leave Harry alone!" Hermione yelled. Harry grinned at Ron.   
  
"Harry you wipe that smirk off your face! You already got yelled at," Ginny said to Harry like he was two. "Men," Ginny and Hermione both mumbled under their breath.   
  
"Ron, we need names or we can't leave," Hermione said obviously getting annoyed at Ron.   
  
Ron, missing the hint at naming them soon, replied, "So, we spend the night." This time his mother whacked him in the back of the head.  
  
"Ronald Weasley! You name those children or I will!" She yelled at him angrily.  
  
"Okay, okay. Just don't hit me again," he said backing away from her. "How about Emma?" he asked after thinking awhile.  
  
"That's nice Ron, but Emma what?" Hermione asked happy that Ron had come up with a name.   
  
"What about Caroline? You know after your mum?" He asked.  
  
"Okay that sounds nice Ron. Now let me pick out the other ones name." Hermione said happy that there was only one more name to choose before they got to go home. "Ummmm… What about… Bridget?"  
  
"Okay, Now a middle name would be nice 'Mione," Ron said jokingly hoping he wouldn't get hit for that comment.   
  
"That's easy. Since Emma has my mum's middle name Bridget can have yours. Bridget Molly."  
  
"Okay. Lets go!"   
  
"We still have to get the birth certificates filled out Ron," Hermione said through closed teeth. Ron frowned.  
  
"Fine." He said disappointed that they still couldn't leave.   
  
"Ron, why do you want to leave so badly?" Hermione asked confused for once.  
  
"I don't like hospitals," Ron muttered, crossing his arms.   
  
"Well why not?" asked Hermione.  
  
"Bad tonsillectomy when he was seven. Never quite got over the fact that his ice cream melted before he could finish it," Mrs. Weasley answered Hermione.  
  
"It didn't melt, Mum, Fred and George ate it on me!" Ron said through gritted teeth.  
  
"No, Ronald, it melted," Mrs. Weasley said, her face growing red.   
  
While the two Weasleys argued, Hermione got dressed and had the birth certificates filled out. When she returned, they were still arguing. Only now, Ron was saying something about always having to suffer through corned beef sandwiches. Hermione rolled her eyes.   
  
"Come on Ronald, we can leave now," they continued to argue, "We'll buy ice cream!" she said a little louder. It worked.   
  
"Coming Hermione. And can we get chocolate?" He asked  
  
"If we must."  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
Later that night  
  
After Ron had finished his ice cream and the girls had been fed they were put to bed. That night they slept without waking once. That would never happen again. EVER.  
  
Ron, who talking to Harry over the floo network was quite happy. "I am telling you Harry, I don't know what my mother ever complained for."  
  
"Oh you'll see Ron. Just wait." Harry said with a smirk.  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
The next night  
  
6:00 pm  
  
Kids put to sleep  
  
7:00 pm  
  
Kids wake up  
  
7:30 pm  
  
Kids put back to bed  
  
8:30 pm  
  
Kids wake back up  
  
9:00 pm  
  
Kids put back to sleep  
  
11:00 pm  
  
Kids wake back up  
  
12:30 am  
  
Kids put back to sleep  
  
1:45 am  
  
Kids wake up and Ron cries  
  
2:00 am  
  
Kids put back to bed  
  
3:00 am  
  
Kids wake up and... "'Mione PLEASE! I need to be to work in two hours!" Ron said to the previously sleeping Hermione.  
  
"Oh, fine. I don't know why it takes you so long to put them back to sleep," Hermione said shaking her head as she walked down the hall into the girl's purple bedroom. She came back 5 minutes later. 


	2. Coffee, Kneazels, and Diapers

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter for if I did I would be rolling in millions right now. And sadly I am not. I do however own Baby James, Emma, and Bridget.  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
Ron's Work  
  
It was 5:15 and Ron was walking into work late. He walked into his office and collapsed into his big comfy, spinney chair. Exactly five minutes later Harry woke him up. "Come on get up. R-ron you do know your drooling?"  
  
"Need sleep," was his reply before putting his head back down.  
  
"Experiencing the wonders of parenthood is that fun, huh?" Harry said with a laugh.  
  
"Again with the jokes! Harry, when will you learn when the right time to tell a joke is?" Ron said with his head still down.  
  
"I never intend to."  
  
"Great," Ron said lifting his head up from the desk. "Can you please just put a bullet or something sharp through my brain? Please?"  
  
"Now Ron that will only get me time in Azkaban, and we don't want that now do we? Besides, then who will tell you all my nice jokes?"  
  
Ron lifted his head up from the with a paper stuck to his head and said, "Go to hell," before putting it back down and banging it repeatedly.   
  
"You know Ron you are just going to dent the desk," Harry said as he placed a cup of coffee on his desk ten minutes later. Ron drank it all in three gulps. "Yay, now we can start on all the nice paper work." Ron put his head back on the desk.  
  
"Wahoo," Ron said in a mock on enjoyment as he twirled his finger.   
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
Back at Home  
  
Hermione was talking to Ginny over the floo network. The red head looked as if she was about to pass out in the fireplace. "Gin, what do I do the kids are sleeping?"  
  
"Sleep," she replied.  
  
"Who me or you?" Hermione said with a laugh.  
  
"Both."  
  
"But I did that last night."  
  
"You lucky bitch."  
  
"Write a series of books?"  
  
"Why not," Hermione said as Ginny's eyes drooped once more. "Are you really that sleepy?"  
  
"Oh, of course not 'Mione! I am as awake as I can get! In fact I am so cheerful I think I'll go for a jog!" she said sarcastically.  
  
"Why don't you go get some sleep," Hermione said her goodbyes and left the fireplace to go begin her series.  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
Staff Meeting  
  
'I must stay awake, I must stay awake, I must stay awake, I must stay awake, I must stay awake, I must stay awake, I must stay awake, I must stay awake,' Ron thought to himself as he boss rambled on about how he needed somebody to go down and look up on Mad Eye Moody's latest 'attack'.  
  
After five more minutes of pure torture, Ron's head started to droop onto the long, wooden table. Harry, noticing his friend, kicked him under the table and passed him his cup of coffee. Ron mouthed a thank you and downed the entire cup in one swig. "Weasley! Have you been listening at all?" his boss yelled at him.  
  
"Of course I have. Why wouldn't be?" Ron said quickly trying to think if they were still talking about Mad Eye. 'Please be talking about Mad Eye.'  
  
"Well, Weasley, since you seem so awake, YOU can go down and check up on Mr. Moody," his boss said. The meeting ended ten minutes later and Ron said goodbye to Harry and left for Mad Eyes.  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
Mad Eyes Place  
  
"Now where exactly are the trash bins that bit your arm, Sir?" Ron asked very bored. 'You think being an Auror would be more exciting.'   
  
"Right over here Weasley. Be careful now. You never know when they are going to snap," Moody said very cautiously, pointing over to the trash bins with his old, shaky finger.  
  
'Could this day go by any slower?' Ron thought to himself as he lifted the lid of the bin. Inside was a small furry animal. It was a stray Kneazel that looked like it had been through just as much as Moody. "Here is the problem," Ron said as he picked up the spotted Kneazel and showed the old man.   
  
"Mauler! I have been looking everywhere for you!" the old man exclaimed as he took the beast from Ron. "Thank you Weasley. I have been looking for this guy for weeks now!"   
  
Ron rolled his eyes, "No problem Moody. You just keep that thing on a leash next time okay?"  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
Back at Home After Work  
  
Ron walked into the house to see Hermione asleep on the sofa with papers spread out all over the table. He walked over and picked up a piece of the paper. Across the top the word 'Untitled' was written. After that there was many papers with what seemed to be a story written on them.   
  
Just as he began to read, he heard two certain babies start to cry. He sighed as he put down the papers and started towards the stairs. He walked into the purple room and picked up Emma as Bridget cried even more. He picked her up with his other hand and rocked them back and forth as he sat down into a racking chair into the corner. "Shhh, now sweeties. We don't want to wake up Mummy, now, do we?" he cooed to the crying girls.   
  
A few minutes later the girls stopped crying and look up at their daddy. "And what are you looking at? Huh?" he asked with a smile and his head bent down close. Bridget reached up and took this opportunity to grab hold of her daddy's hair. "Hey, now what did I do to you?" he asked as he attempted to get his hair back from the giggling child.  
  
"Ron? Are you up here?" Hermione asked as she came up the steps.  
  
"In here honey! I am the one getting scalped!"  
  
"Oh Ron, she's not even one and your losing! This is truly pathetic."   
  
"Stop being mean and help! This hurts!" Ron complained as the little girl pulled even harder. Hermione came over and took Bridget's hand out of Ron's hair and picked her up.  
  
"That's right, honey," Hermione said to Bridget, "Daddy is a baby."  
  
"Oh, yeah, laugh it up," Ron said.   
  
"Okay," Hermione said as she started to laugh.   
  
"You're so mean!" Ron wined in a fake hurt voice, "Come on Emma, Let's get away from these mean old people."  
  
"Old? Who's old? Bridget is not and I'M definitely not old."   
  
"Sure Hermione you just keep thinking that." Ron said with a laugh. He soon wished that he hadn't said that because moments later a book was chucked at the back of his head. "That was mean!"  
  
"I know. And so is this," she passed him Bridget and said… "Honey can you change the girls diapers?"  
  
"Why is that mean?"  
  
"Oh you'll see," she said with a smirk on her face.  
  
Ron soon found out why it was mean. It smelt so bad and even worse, he had to do two of them! "PLEASE never make me do that again!!!!" Ron wined to Hermione after he was done changing the diapers.   
  
"Ha, now you know how I fell every day when you go to work and I have to change them all," Hermione said without looking up from the paper she was writing on in front of her.  
  
"What are you working on anyway?" Ron asked looking over her shoulder.  
  
"My book series," she said casually.  
  
"What?" Ron asked very confused.  
  
"I had nothing to do today so Ginny told me to write one so, I am," she said still without looking up.  
  
"Right…. Remind me not to ask next time, okay?"  
  
"Okay, honey."  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
That Night  
  
That night the kids actually slept until 12:13 am before they woke. Hermione was on child duty that night because Ron had to be to work even earlier today for another staff meeting.  
  
"Come on sweeties, you know you want to go to bed for mummy," she said in a tired voice as she rocked them back and forth. Bridget wasn't really crying anymore but, she also wasn't helping any with Emma, for she kept grabbing onto what little hair her twin had.  
  
About an hour after they finally fell back asleep, they woke back up. Hermione unhappily got back out of the bed and walked down the hall. "Now come on. You know that you want o be sweet little girls for mummy and go to bed. Don't you?" Hermione asked to the babies that were now staring at her as if she were nut for talking to them. "Please go to bed sweet hearts." Hermione sat in there for another half hour before they fell back asleep. She was so tired by now though that after she put them in to their crib, she passed out herself in the rocking chair.  
  
And that's exactly where Ron found her and the crying babies at three in the morning when he woke to get ready for another day of fun paperwork.  
  
Ron walked up to Hermione and laughed to himself. He kissed her on the forehead and wrote her a note saying he would be home early today and to save him a diaper. Then he walked over to the crib and quieted down the girls with two bottles. 'This is my chaotic life.' He thought to himself.  
  
A/N that's the second chapie!! Hoped you liked it! I'll try to update soon! REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	3. Calling all Dads

Disclaimer: I own nothing of J.K's! I only own the cuties (also called babies). Sorry it took so long to get this one up. I had to watch my brat sister for a while. She is six and a pain in the ass! Sorry again. Enjoy!  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Morning at the House  
  
Hermione awoke later that morning around eight. The girls were once again crying their little hearts out and Emma's beat red face almost matched her red hair. Bridget was crying so loudly someone from outside would have thought Hermione was beating her.  
  
"Come on sweeties," Hermione said as she picked up the two girls who immediately started to calm down. "Lets go get some food. Huh? Is that what you want?" she asked the two now smiling girls in her arms. Bridget's chocolate brown eyes stared up at her mother as if trying to say 'What else would we want?' Emma's blue eyes were staring off into space like Ron's often did when they were at school. Hermione was almost out of the room when she noticed Ron's note to her. "You bet I'll leave your daddy a diaper!" Hermione said with a laugh as she continued out of the room. "One less thing for me to do."  
  
When they got down stairs Hermione sat the two girls in their highchairs and began to put baby formula into the yellow see though bottles. 'Another chaotic morning off to a perfect start.'  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Ron's Work  
  
"I see you can actually manage to keep the drool off your paper work today, huh?" Harry asked with a joking voice as he walked into their office.  
  
"Yes, actually I can," Ron said proudly. "And that is because my lovely wife decided to be nice yesterday, after making me do the most horrid thing in the world, and took care of them last night after bed."  
  
"You got to change diapers, huh?" Harry asked with a smile on his face.  
  
"Yes unfortunately. And I volunteered to change two more tonight."  
  
"Are you feeling okay?" Harry asked with fake concern as he rushed over to feel Ron's head. "You poor, brave soul, you. No man should ever have to do that twice," Harry said with fake amazement.  
  
"Yeah, I know. But I'll tough it," Ron said with a look of bravery on his face. They both started laughing and got to work.  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Back at Home  
  
Hermione and Ginny sat at the coffee table in the living room as Bridget, Emma, and James slept upstairs. Ginny was supposed to be helping Hermione with her series, but it seemed to Hermione that she was just trying to piss her off.  
  
"Okay," Ginny began, "what if your little character here got attacked by a werewolf?"  
  
"Gin, Remus would kill me and you in our sleep."  
  
"Fine. What about a vampire?"  
  
"No, Too much blood. Don't like blood."  
  
"Kappas?"  
  
"Did you not hear me? I don't like blood! They feed on it."  
  
"Are you sure about the werewolves?"  
  
"Yes, I am sure."  
  
"Positive?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Absolutely positive?"  
  
"Yes." Hermione said getting annoyed.  
  
"But,"  
  
"Gin, NO."  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& That Night  
  
Ron had his head in the fireplace and was talking to Harry though the green flames. "And she wouldn't even let me use a gas mask!" he complained.  
  
"Well, Ron, you did volunteer," Harry pointed out.  
  
"Yeah, well, she didn't have to be a wench about it. Evil hag," Ron muttered under his breath not knowing the 'evil hag' was behind him. The next thing he knew there was a sharp pain in the back of his head as a book hit him.  
  
"What book is that?" Harry asked.  
  
"How to Change Diapers for Dummies. Remus and Tonks gave it to us," he said as he turned to say he was sorry to Hermione.  
  
"That's low. That's lower than low. I'm adding that to my list," Harry said as he got up to find 'the list'.  
  
"Wait, Harry! What list?" asked the confused Ron. He took his head out of the fireplace and went into the kitchen, where Hermione was now struggling to keep the bottles in the two crying babies mouths. "Need some help?" he asked as he took the struggling Bridget out of her arms. She gave him a look that clearly said 'duh' in the beginning, but quickly turned into a 'thank you'.  
  
As they fed the babies Hermione's eyes kept drooping more and more. "Here, let me feed them and I'll put them to sleep. You go to bed, you look wiped," he told his wife as he took the calmed down Emma from her mother's arms.  
  
"Thanks honey," she said tiredly after yawning. She kissed him on the cheek and turned towards the stairs.  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& One Hour Later  
  
Ron sat in the rocking chair, attempting to put the girls to sleep again. He had unfortunately come up with the brilliant idea of "Let's gives the kids Chocolate Frogs! That'll put them to bed!" His plan had, obviously, backfired. "I need help," Ron suddenly was hit with another 'stroke of genius' as he stuck his head into the fireplace and flooed every father he knew. This group consisted of his own father, Mr. Weasley, Harry, Remus, Neville, and Fred and George.  
  
(A/N We all know whom Harry and Mr. Weasley are married to and whom their kids are but I am going to tell you who everybody else is married to and their kids. Remus and Tonks have three. A set of twin girls Aiden and Lydia, who are a year older than Ron's and then a little boy, who is the same age as Ron's girls, Sirius. He is named after the late Sirius Black. Neville is married to Luna and they have a little girl, who is also the same as Ron and Hermione's kids, Stella. Fred is married to Angelina and George is married to Alicia. They each have a set of twins. Fred has Jimmy and Timmy and George has Anna and Hannah. They are two years older than Emma and Bridget. Sorry if you don't like the names. Deal with it!)  
  
They all arrived fairly quickly and all of them had a glare plastered on their faces. "What do you want?" Remus asked angrily. Ron had forgotten that it was close to a full moon and he was probably very, very, very tired. And cranky. Very cranky.  
  
"Help me put my kids to sleep?" Ron asked very cautiously.  
  
Mr. Weasley look at Ron and said very happily, "I finished this a long time ago." Then he left to go to his crying children free home.  
  
"I've got my own kid. Sorry mate," Harry said patting Ron's back. Then he too turned and left.  
  
"I've got three. Have fun!" Remus said sarcastically as he ran to the fireplace for two reasons. 1) Full moon was close and he wanted to get back into that nice warm bed.  
  
2) When he left he woke up his own children and Tonks looked like she was ready to kill.  
  
"Um... Sorry Ron, but I want to be alive tomorrow. Luna wasn't to happy when I ditched her with Stella, who also won't sleep. At all." Neville said apologetically as he turned and left.  
  
Fred and George only said two words before they also left, and they were, "Ha ha."  
  
After everyone left, Ron went up to check on the two girls. They were both fast asleep. "Well, now I know what to do next time they won't go to bed."  
  
A/N That's all folks! Hope you liked it! NOW REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	4. Don't mess with pms

A/N: Hiya, I do not own any of J.K's characters (just their children). So don't sue.  
  
Beta's note: The children's names were found in other books and the American Dictionary of Baby Names. ALL OF THEM ARE REAL NAMES! Thank you.  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
The next day, a gray, drizzling Saturday, Hermione sat at her kitchen table rereading the part of her book that she'd recently written and attempting to eat breakfast. She would have succeeded in eating her pancakes, but of course who wants to eat pancakes with a letter in the middle of them. Hermione looked above her head to see six owls hovering over her. One of the owls, which very much resembled the late Errol Weasley, had dropped his letter onto Hermione's uneaten pancake.  
  
Hermione smiled, her popularity must have skyrocketed over night. She removed her letter from her pancake, took the one from Hedwig, one from each Chocolate and Vanilla (Fred and Angelina's and George and Alicia's owls), a letter form Starlight (Luna and Neville's owl), and Mocha (Remus and Tonks's owl) waited patiently for Hermione to take her letter. After a little water, the six owls flew back to their owners.  
  
"Hmm... I wonder what they want," Hermione thought, tearing the envelope of Mrs. Weasley's letter.  
  
Dear Hermione,  
  
How are you and the children? I hope they are doing well. From what Arthur's told me, though, is that you are having trouble putting them to sleep. Next time you have problems please call me, not Arthur.  
  
Love,  
Molly Hermione quirked an eyebrow and glanced over toward the den where Ron was finishing some paperwork. She shrugged, deciding she'd ask Ron later, and opened Ginny's letter.  
  
Hermione,  
  
Harry was supposed put OUR son to sleep last night, but he had to leave because your bonehead husband called him over saying it was an emergency. Do you know what he wanted?? FOR HARRY TO PUT YOU'RE CHILDREN TO SLEEP BECAUSE HE COULDN'T!! Harry is my husband! Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine!! Little advise, don't ask Ron to put the girls to bed any more.  
Love,  
Ginny Hermione was about to ask Ron what the hell had gone on the night before when she noticed that the envelope for the letter from Tonks was bright red. Without thinking twice she ripped open the envelope. The voice inside screamed:  
  
IF YOU DON'T HAVE A HUSBAND TOMARROW, YOU'LL KNOW WHO TO BLAME!  
  
After putting out the small fire the howler had caused, Hermione grabbed the pile of letters and marched into the den. "RONALD WEASLEY!" She screamed, "Your had better write apologies to all of these people!"  
  
"Why? I didn't do anything!" Hermione gave him that look that said he'd better start talking or she'd start slapping. "It was all the girls fault!" He claimed.  
  
The twins looked up at their mommy from the playpen with their cute little baby eyes. "Sure, Ron. It was all their fault that their daddy is too stupid to ask their mummy to help him!" Ron flinched and nodded very quickly. "Start writing!" She yelled as she threw pieces of parchment and a quill at him.  
  
"Yes ma'm." As Hermione walked into the other room Ron muttered to him self curses against all his friend wives. Starting with Ginny.  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Later  
  
Dear Ginny,  
  
You suck. Who are you calling a bonehead you dunderhead! Blah blah blah sorry for stealing Harry blah blah blah.  
  
Ron  
  
Dear Mum,  
  
Sorry for stealing dad. Hope you weren't busy.  
  
Ron  
  
Dear Tonks,  
  
I would prefer to live, but thank you for the offer. Sorry for stealing Remus, even though it was only for, like, three seconds. Get some sleep woman. No offence.  
  
Ron  
  
Dear Angelina and Alicia,  
  
Why oh why did you marry them? Sorry for taking them away from my oh so loving sister-in-laws last night for three point two seconds!  
  
Ron  
  
Dear Luna,  
  
Please quit singing that song. Sorry for taking Neville. Don't kill him he's too young to die!  
  
Ron  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Even Later  
  
Ron threw five sealed envelops on the kitchen table in front of Hermione. "There. Are you happy?"  
  
"Yes," she said with a satisfied smirk.  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& The Next Day (Lunch Time)  
  
Ron and Hermione were sitting at the table with the twins in their highchairs, when there was two loud cracks from the other room. Five seconds later Ginny was in the kitchen and Harry was leaning against the doorframe looking very scared.  
  
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A DUNDER HEAD, YOU JACKASS!!!!!!!!!" Ginny screamed at her older brother as Hermione picked up the girls and walked out of the room.  
  
Harry mumbled a small sorry to her as she passed him and she gave a weak smile. After she was out of the room Harry held up a small poll like figure in a package which Ron recognized from the bathroom. It was a tampon. 'Ginny is PMSing,' Ron thought to himself as Harry lowered the tampon.  
  
He was about to open his mouth to reply to, but he was cut short due to the fist that was being thrust into his eye.  
  
Ginny stood up, wiped off her hands, and sighed. "I feel better now," she said. She walked towards the door, grabbed Harry's arm, and the two disapparated.  
  
Ron picked himself off the floor. "And to think, that poor man has to live with her." Ron, then, staggered over to a mirror to inspect the damage. He wasn't too shocked when he saw a lovely purplish shiner on his right eye.  
  
A moment later, Hermione and the girls re-entered the kitchen. She took one look at Ron and shook her head. "I told you not to mess with your sister when she's PMSing," she stated.  
  
"How was I supposed to know that it was her week with 'Martha'? And, no you didn't," Ron pouted.  
  
"Well, I should have."  
  
A/N Well that's it! Sorry if its a little short! Hope you liked it! Buh byes! 


	5. kisses

Disclaimer: Anything that you recognize from the books or movies is not mine!

A/N: Sorry that it took so long to update. I had sort of a writer's block. Hope you like the new chapter!

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Ron woke the next morning and his lovely black eye still remained. He rolled over to find that Hermione had already woken up and gone down stairs. And from the lack of crying he heard, he guessed that the girls were both being fed. 'Thank the lord for that,' he thought to himself.

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Harry and Ginny's House

Ginny sat at the table with a large piece of parchment in front of her. Harry walked into the kitchen, still appearing to be asleep. "What are you doing up so early?" Harry questioned.

"Making my list," his wife replied. Harry threw a questioning glance at the paper in front of Ginny.

"Ways to Kill My Brother?" Harry asked. Ginny nodded happily, "Don't you think covering him in honey and dumping him on top of an ant hill a little harsh?"

"Harsh?" Ginny laughed, "I didn't think it was strong enough!" She had this mad glint in her eyes as she continued to write her list.

"Okay, I'm gonna go..." Harry said, heading to the fireplace.

"It's the weekend, you have the day off," Ginny replied, still not glancing up from her list. A sudden erupting of screams was heard from James's bedroom. "The baby's crying, go see what he wants."

"But-"

"GO!"

"Yes ma'm," Harry replied, grudgingly dragging himself up the stairs to his son's bedroom. He picked James up and the baby stopped crying. "That's a good boy," He told him. James replied by stealing his daddy's glasses and smiling. "That's right, Mummy is a psycho."

"I heard that!" Ginny bellowed from the kitchen.

Harry put James back in his crib. "I'm gonna go hide in the closet, okay?" Harry asked. James giggled. "Don't tell Mummy!" Harry said as he closed the closet door, it was the perfect place to hide from Ginny's PMS rampage.

"Harry, get out of the closet!" Ginny yelled from the bottom of the stairs.

Harry stepped out of the closet and glared at James. "I'm never telling you anything again." He picked the small child out of the crib and went downstairs.

When he entered the kitchen Ginny was still working on her list for destruction of Ron. "Umm... Gin?"

"Hmm?" She asked without looking up.

"I'm gonna take James to The park okay?" she didn't reply and he took that as an okay.

He was about to turn to go to the fireplace when she stood up. She walked over to Harry and the baby and gave them both pecks on the checks without saying a word.

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Ron and 'Mione's house

Harry stepped out of the fireplace to see Ron sitting at the table with the girls. He was making "funny" faces and they were giggling. "Hey, nice eye. Wanna go to the park with James and me? You can bring the girls," he asked as Ron glared at him for the comment of the eye.

In the end he stopped glaring and went to the park with the jerk he called friend.

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The Park

After walking through the park for about half an hour, Harry stopped at a familiar face sitting on bench near the swing set and jungle gym. It was Tonks, watching Aiden and Lydia tugging on each other's hair. Tonks held Sirius in her arms, and fishing through his diaper bag for another bottle.

"Hello, Tonks," Harry said, walking up to her.

"Hi," She replied, still searching in the bag. "Damn it," she said, "Where is that bottle?"

"Tonks?" Ron asked cautiously, "It's in your hand."

"What?" she asked, looking up. "Oh. What happened to you?" Tonks asked, spotting Ron's black eye.

"Ginny punched him!" Harry chimed in before Ron could reply.

"Harry!" Ron yelled angry that he let it slip that his LITTLE sister had given him the black eye.

"Poor man. She PMSing?" Tonks asked as she put the bottle in the baby's mouth.

"Yes," Ron said through gritted teeth.

They talked with Tonks a little while longer, exactly three cracks about the eye longer to be exact, and then they went back to Ron's.

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Back at Ron's

Ron walked out of the fireplace and into the living room. Hermione was asleep on the couch with what looked like a finished copy of whatever the Hell it was she had been writing. He looked at the double stroller to see that both the girls had, in fact, also fallen asleep.

He gently lifted his girls out of the stroller. Slowly he walked up the steps and into their bedroom. He gingerly set them down so that, for once in their little lives, they could stay a sleep for a few hours.

As Ron walked down stairs he could hear Hermione waking up. He stopped and watched as she hurriedly gathered up the papers and rolled them up. Then she went into the kitchen. Ron went down the rest of the steps and watched from the kitchen door.

Hermione was sending the papers with a large owl. As soon as she had it tied on the owl took off, leaving Hermione in the kitchen to do dishes, not knowing (for once) that the girls and Ron were home. Now she would.

Ron walked slowly and quietly into the kitchen. Hermione didn't turn around. He walked a little closer and she still showed no signs that she saw him. Finally he got close enough to her that he could wrap his arm around her waist, and that's exactly what he did.

Hermione jumped a little, but as soon as she saw his face she relaxed. Then she glared at him. "Ron! That was not funny! Look at the water all over me!"

Ron looked and indeed there was water all over her front. "Hehe, um... sorry," he said backing up a little.

"You better be sorry! I just put on new clothes right after you left because the girls..." Ron cut her off. He knew she was about to start a rambling rampage.

He put her out of her misery by placing his lips over hers. He rewrapped his arms back around her and she relaxed into him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

When they broke she put her head down on his shoulder before looking up. "Very funny Ron. One of these days that's not going to work," she said as she turned back around to finish her dishes.

"Yes, but that my dear has yet to happen," He told her as he sat down at the table.

Hermione turned on her heel to glare at Ron. "Ronal Bilious Weasley I could just smack you some times."

Ron looked at her in shock. "I told you my middle name in confidence," he pretended to look hurt that she had even muttered that horrid name his mother called 'precious.'

Hermione stuck out her tongue.

Before either of them could say another word, there were two loud cries from upstairs. Ron who had been leaning back in his chair fell over. Hermione rolled her eyes and moved towards the doorway.

Ron quickly picked up his chair and followed his wife out the door and up the steps.

As it appeared Emma had gotten hold of Bridget's hair and was refusing to let go. Bridget's face was now beet red from crying.

Hermione untangled Emma from Bridget and her and Ron each took one of the twins. "Come on Ron, they're probably hungry. They haven't eaten in a while," Hermione said while gesturing for him to follow her down stairs.

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Later that Night

Both of the girls had been put to sleep, the house had been clean, and two new parents had nearly collapsed from exhaustion.

Ron and Hermione walked up the steps into their room. Ron fell back wards on the bed while Hermione quickly changed into her nightclothes. After that she too, fell back wards onto the bed.

Ron turned to his wife and smiled. "What?" she questioned him.

"Nothing," he said as he leaned forward and kissed her. Hermione kissed him back and they soon were quite awake.

Ron jumped out of the bed and turned out the lights. He got back into the bed and repeated their previous actions that lead to some new ones. (A.N. if ya know what I am talking about ;) )

A.N That's the end of the chapie! #confetti goes everywhere as Lily106 dances# Sorry it took so long 8th grade sucks monkey butt. I'll try to update sooner next time! Buh Bye!!! ;)


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